What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

How do you get a girl to like you?

TEXT:

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Can the right person make a narc want to change their ways? Is love that powerful? Has anyone seen this or experience it?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What does the Bible say about the Antichrist? How will we know when he arrives on the scene?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Have you ever answered your door in lingerie?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I always feel very tired after I do some exercises, even after a night's sleep. What's the problem?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How do Democrat Party voters feel about the fact that Kamala Harris never received one primary vote to be the nominee in 2020 and certainly not in 2024?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why are people with Asperger syndrome unenthusiastic?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why do some women alter their faces by so-called cosmetic surgeries (on their eyes, cheeks, lips, chin, jaw) that making them look like Donald Duck or puffy aliens, while for most men these unnatural facial changes are ridiculous or even disgusting?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What is your review of the Redmi 9A? Is it worth buying?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why don't some people like the 10 Commandments?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Will Canadians still buy American products?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.